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Diaryland
 
Date:2001-01-03
Time:02:04:02


So Betsy is working on my new diary layout...DR. SEUSS BABY! Gosh, I sound like Uncle Bob! Hehe. Well, today was kinda fun. Though I didn't get the shit done that I wanted to and now it is late at night and I should go to bed because I have to work tomorrow. Oh well. It's all worth it, because today was a good day. And the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual sale starts tomorrow and I will go to it on Thursday, and that kicks ass. So tomorrow will be good too.

Today some good things happened, other than Betsy building me a new website.

A) I made a photo album online, and am kinda figuring out how to make picture links. Let's try one: here is one of my kitties.

Alright, hopefully that didn't fuck the page up too bad. :) 

B) Took my kitties to the vet. They're not dying. I had a secret fear this was going to be the case and I would be so upset. However, they do have earmites (=clean their ears out and give them drops that make them squirm and itch and flatten their ears and give me a dirty look) and some kind of worms (=clean the litter box a damn lot). Both these things are no big deal I guess, and will go away if we do what the vet says. They also got a shot each, and were real troopers. Oh yea, and we found out they are both girls. No thanks to Claire -- she thought they were boys!!! Oh well. I won't hold it against her. :)

C) Lynz called and I got to talk to him for like an hour. It was wonderful. Good to feel connected again. He's great, as usual. And it's so centering and fufilling to talk to him. I can't wait to see him again.

D) Lynn and Claire and I went over to Brandon's and saw Matt and others. That was fun. They got a new piece, it's huge. Matt, being him, got someone else to put up weed and then gave me a big hit. I love him. But not like I love Lynz. In case I haven't mentioned it, it's not like that. :) Matt and I may be good lovers, but we make for a bad relationship and much better friends. So that's how it will be. But I do love him, he is my best friend really. So we all had fun there. His girlfriend, Karen, was there. I'd met her once. I guess she's kinda insecure about her and Matt. I don't think she's ever really seen him with friends who are girls before. I think we made her nervous. Lynn and Claire found this cool and were quite proud of themselves. I actually (suprisingly, even to me!) feel kinda bad about this. This is going to sound really bad, but I think it's because I feel superior to her. Partially because she's insecure, and partially because I no longer worry that I am important to Matt, because I know I am. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I guess I can't really apologize for the fact that I have a history with the kid. :)

So yea. I think those are the basic highlights of my day. It was weird to be high again, I hadn't been since Lynz was here. I smoked a lot more cigarettes than I should have (I shouldn't have smoked any), but I have this thing where I want a cigarette after I hit a bong. I don't know, it's weird. Anyway, I had fun being with Matt, it was a good night for us. Matt is the only person around here who can truly put me in a good or bad mood just by how he treats me. I think it's residue from our relationship, even though that was years ago. It's just how we are. Anyway, I was feeling special tonight, and that was cool. Lynn and Claire think it really bugged Karen, and like I said, I kinda feel bad. Actually I'm not really sure how I feel about that. She didn't seem so bad, just really like she went with Matt. Whatever on that. I guess I kinda feel for her, because the way she was acting and treating us tonight, that's how I think I would act with Matt if I was his girlfriend in that position. I've been like that, but it was after we dated for a while. What can I say? I'm a possesive bitch sometimes. :)

Which brings me to note that I really love all Lynz's friends, and I'm SO GLAD. I don't want to be like that over him. In fact, there's so much shit with Matt I don't ever want to have with Lynz. That's such a good thing. It's nice to be aware. Last year at school I figured out all the shit that fucked me up still about relationships that resulted from dating Matt. I called him and told him, I was pissed. And he apologized. He was glad I was mad. He said he'd been waiting for it all that time. (We had a weird breakup where we KINDA skipped the anger thing. We're retarded like that with each other.) So it's good now, even though some of the stuff is still around. Matt knows it, he tries to help (in his own, sometimes unhelpful, way) and Lynz knows too, and is so understanding. I'm so glad. Not too many boyfriends would be so cool with their girlfriend being so tight with her ex. But I'm glad he is, like I have mentioned before, I don't want to ever have to choose.

So yeah. I think I'll write more about Matt later. It's always kinda confusing but really comforting to hang out with him. It's hard to explain, but it never makes me doubt being with Lynz. That is the right thing and I know it. And Matt supports that. Or at least he did before he met Lynz, and he hasn't said anything since, so I assume he still does. I'm not asking him what he thinks yet, because I don't want to know right now. Like I said, the boy fucks with my head sometimes. His opinion wouldn't change things with Lynz, it would just bother me. I don't like to be bothered. Lynn says these next few months are going to be interesting with me and Matt living by each other. Yea, I guess they could be. But like I said, I don't like to be bothered, so I'm not thinking about that yet. :)

And I love Lynz so much. :) Life is good, all seems to be in good order.

Chao!

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